if there is a god, what the eff did i ever do to you?

Yesterday was the arrival of our first real guest. Curious if having guest would make things more or less fun… 23 Floridians arrived, so obviously… MORE FUN!!!!! thank goodness someone else arrived on this ranch that understands how to have a good time (and appreciate good weather).

Not only is this trip funded by one man, the owner, and easily 50 thousand dollars, his name is Larry, just like the last two bosses i left in Florida. I didn’t know that one Larry existed, and now I know 3!

Today was the third time in 5 months i have watched an ambulance remove a body from a building. At least this time I was not the one that had to dial 911. Walking home from the lodge we see a car pull up, almost instantaneously john says “looks like a Cadillac” and i say “looks like an escalade”, took half a second to register we were both right.

Larrys wife was looking for anyone, he short of breath and numb all over, living in the middle of no where, at 1 o’clock in the morning it takes forever for an ambulance to arrive (due to fog and chance of hitting an elk (and being in the middle of f-in no where)). Leaving me, the only woman there besides his wife to bring him comfort, since no one else knew what to offer besides taking his pulse, which he wasn’t conscious enough to feel anyway. I don’t know if I have grown a natural knack for that thing, or if I just understand what people need to hear, but it seemed natural and pleasing, and i took some solace in knowing the comfort I was able to offer him

But consoling a half dead person is really the last thing, THE LAST THING i can think of putting myself through (yes i understand how selfish that is). I am happy I was able to be there for him…but.. more damaged than people think when I was crying about it. sure if he will be fine he will be fine, but i am sure that is not what i am falling apart over. 

i’ve been trying to be a good person and mind myself, this is some cruel punishment for some unspoken sin i must have commited.

i will update you as soon as i’m updated on his condition.

    • Mum
    • May 29th, 2010

    Aww, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m sure Larry was glad you were there.

    • Justin
    • May 29th, 2010


    hope he is ok.

    Either way though that sucked. Doing the right thing sometimes does.

    • daddyo
    • May 29th, 2010

    sorry baby. I hope that Lsrry’s okay. I’m sure that his whole group is distressed. Their leader collapsing on the first day of vacation.

    • jcwetruwt
    • May 31st, 2010

    For you to be able in the chaos to offer comfort to him was a wonderful gift. We rarely are presented with situations that we cannot handle. All your past experiences (good % bad) contributed to your ability to help.

    They were so fortunate you were there.

    love you,
    Aunt J

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